Friday, 30 August 2019
Lawyer paragraph.
Lawyer paragraph
Children should be aware of what devices can do to your eyesight. Each year more and more children are having to get glasses at a young age because of the amount of time they spend on devices and electronics Kids should be outside more than indoors, they should be playing sports with others and enjoying the sun. Children nowadays often spend their whole afternoon holding devices close to their eyes which can cause them to becoming short sighted. A majority of 61 percent in the world's population are reported to wear glasses and many of them are children With adults limiting their children's screen time can lead to a smaller chance of their children's eyes getting damaged. Children need to be taught to limit their screen time
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Karen, you have used the paragraph structure confidently to write your argument. You have made good points.
ReplyDeleteMy concern is that there are a few full stops missing to mark the end of your sentences and a couple of word choices that affect the flow of your argument.